Sunday, June 3, 2012

2012 FACS Nutrition and Food Science Conference



Utah State University's 2012 Nutrition Conference, June 11th and 12th.  Registration is only $40.00 for two days of nutritional education. Register at http://facs.usu.edu/ 

June Book Signings


Sea Gull Book and Tape

June 5- Layton, Utah (10-noon)
June 7- Riverdale Rd, Ogden, Utah  (2-4)
June 13- University Parkway, Provo, Utah (10-noon)

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Come Say Hi!

Tonight from 7-9 pm we will be at the Draper Library teaching how to make yogurt, soft cheese spread, sprouting seeds and beans, and how to store fresh eggs for up to 8 months.
Hope to see you there!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Lawn Mower Repair

A few months ago Davis County, Utah was struck by a horrific wind storm.  Damage was wide spread, except down our street, we only had a few minor causualities.  Our new lawn mower was smashed by a metal pole.  Trent called around and found Mr. Mower.  Mr. Mower picked up our lawn mower and returned it one hour later.  During that hour our mower received a new engine cover, an oil change, blade sharpened, spark plug change, springs replaced, and the smashed automatic choke repaired all for $79.95!

If you need any small engines repaired, give Mr. Mower a call 801-678-0303

Monday, April 16, 2012

The value of life...and food!

Unfortunately, two of our chicks turned out to be roosters.  So we were faced with the difficult decision of what to do with them.  I explored KSL classifieds and was surprised to see the number of people offering roosters to a new home with as expected, very few takers.  After many days of deliberation Trent and I decided we would eat them.  I oven fried the chicken meat and that night at dinner my husband had an amazing experience that touched both of our hearts.  His dinner prayer was more meaningful than usual.  He actually felt tremendous gratitude toward our chicken for giving up his life so we can live.   
Now comes the million dollar question.  How do I, as a mother, nurture my family's feelings of gratitude for their food when it is faceless and comes from the grocery store? Over the years, I have tried FHE lessons and prayer thanking the Lord for the animals and vegetables that provide us with food at the personal expense of giving up their life and I just get eyes rolling and sniggering.  Any suggestions?

Friday, March 30, 2012

NYand Co. $50.00 off a purchase of $100.00. Now through Sunday! Use promocode: 1187

Chicken News!

Last fall with our new chicks.  Adam, Grandma, and Rachel loving the babies.
Some of you may remember the struggle we had with our chicks.  For those of you who don't, we ordered our chicks in the early summer and they didn't arrive until October.  This presented many problems for us with the biggest being cold weather. 
As I thought about the behavior of hens I decided to try and get one of my old layers to go broody.  Remember how I began placing hard boiled eggs in the nest each night and after I had about a dozen she went broody?  Then after a few weeks I removed the eggs and replaced them with my chicks in the middle of the night?
Well, the good news is that my baby chicks are all grown up and are now laying!  Yes, yesterday I checked the nest and there was a beautiful brown egg.  Talk about feeling like a proud parent! 
I told Adam about the shiny egg when he came home from his date and he looked at me and said, "Mom, they're chickens.  Chickens lay eggs.  What's the big deal?"  I said with a huge smile, "Yes,  but they were my babies and now they are all grown up!"  He went to bed and I muttered, "Maybe when you have kids of your own you'll understand."  He heard me and yelled from his room, "Mom, I hate to tell you but I'm never going to be weird and think chickens are my kids!"

Breakfast, courtesy of the chicks. Or perhaps I should say, "Breakfast, courtesy of the ladies!"
 Either way breakfast was delicious.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Bath and Body Works Sale!

It's their mix and match body care sale.  Buy 3 get 3 free!  Check it out because it won't last long.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Promo Codes!

Need shoes?  Try Shoes.com which is offering an additional 20% off all shoes and as always, free shipping.  Promo code: 20SALE

Need facial products at 20% off and free shipping for all orders of $49.00 or higher? Try SkincareRX.com
Skinmedica Promocode: SKMMARCH20
Skinceutical Promocode: SCMARCH20
Epionce Promocode: EPMARCH20

Ulta is offering
$3.50 off any $10.00 or more purchase with Promocode:77739
$10 off a $60.00 or more purchase with Promocode: 80531

How some new clothes?  New York and Company is offering 30% off everything online with Promocode: 3011 

Thursday, March 22, 2012

If Layton doesn't work, how about Ogden?

I'll be at the Ogden Seagull Book on Riverdale Road from 12-1:30.  Hope to see you there!

Come say, "Hi!"


I'll be at the Seagull Book in Layton this Saturday from 10-11:30.  Stop by, I'm giving out Pocky!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

PBS Deals

Nature and NOVA DVDs on sale 2 for $25.00!

Bath and Body Works antibacterial sale is here!

Antibacterial soap 5 for $15 or 7 for $7.00
 and ship for $1.00 using promocode: SCENTS25

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

It's here and on the shelves of all major book stores and Amazon!

Another night of reincarnated left-overs!

I am in the process of cleaning out my refrigerator.  That means I need to be very creative.  Here's what I did with what I found.
3 bell peppers I had purchase for .59 cents each.  One of them had a frozen spot.  Yes, the peppers were in the very back of the fridge.  I cut the peppers in half and cleaned them out.
Next I found a cup of match stick carrots.  They didn't smell all that fresh so I rinsed them under cool water and they tasted fine.  I then chopped an onion.  I also found 2 leftover stalks of celery so I sliced the celery up too.  I cooked the carrots, onion, and celery in about 2 tablespoons of oil along with 1 heaping teaspoon of minced garlic.

After the vegetables were tender I added about 1/3 cup of cooked barely pearls, 1/3 cup cooked wheat berries, and a 1/3 cup of quinoa.  These grains were leftover from morning breakfast.    I opened my fridge and spied 1/2 of a cooked butternut squash.  I cubed my find and added it to the mixture along with 2 raw eggs.  Mixed it up and filled the bell pepper halves.

I placed foil in a baking dish and baked the stuffed peppers for 45 minutes at 350 degrees.  I served the stuffed peppers with tomato slices.  The tomatoes were on special last week for 59 cents a pound.  And a slice of rosemary olive oil bread.  For dessert I found a pint of homemade yogurt, which cost me 30 cents a pint to make and blueberries that were on special for $1.76 a box last week.


This meal was made from leftovers I had on hand.  However, the total cost if purchasing the items for this meal would be:
  •  Bell peppers ($.59 x 3 = $1.77)
  • 2 stalks celery ($.20)
  • 1/2 bag match stick carrots ($.64)
  • 1 small onion ($.30)
  • 2 eggs (Bought and preserved at $.69/dozen ($.10)
  • Grains ($.75)
  • Tomato ($.33)
  • Bread ($1.30)
  • Yogurt ($.30)
  • Blueberries ($1.76)
Total price- $7.45 for 6 servings.




Please share this!

http://vitals.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/13/10657635-3-big-brands-may-be-tied-to-chicken-jerky-illness-in-dogs-fda-records-show

Monday, March 12, 2012

You want what? Nachos at this time of night!

Well here I go again, the Snow family's short order cook is asked to make Sunday night nachos by the men in her life.  I browned hamburger that I had defrosted for tomorrow's sloppy joes and added a can of Western Family Chili Beans with sauce.  I then chopped some cilantro, tomatoes, and avocado.  I looked around in my pantry for some nacho cheese dip but couldn't find any so I made my own cheese sauce.  Trent said my cheese sauce tasted fresher and cleaner than the nacho cheese dip.  It was quick, easy, and best of all, I knew exactly what was in the cheese sauce and I also knew that the kitchen was clean and the cook washed her hands before making it!  Also, my homemade cheese sauce only cost me 10 cents for the chicken bouillon, 25 cents for the milk and $1.66 for the shredded cheese.  Total cost $2.01 instead of $4.99 for the nacho dip.

Cheese Sauce:
1/2 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup milk
1 8 oz pkg shredded sharp cheddar cheese
Whisk until creamy over medium heat
Add thickener:
Mix 1 T. corn starch dissolved in 3 T. water.  Pour into cheese mixture. Stir until thick and creamy and serve over th nachos.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

What should I do with 6 chicken strips, 2/3 cup left over cream, and a starving family?

Here's what I made and it was a hit and it only took 20 minutes!

I found a bag on penne pasta in the pantry and cooked it up.
I grilled the chicken strips.
I made a sauce that was high in fat and oh so delicious (If I didn't have to use up the cream I would have made the recipe with milk)
Sauce:
2 cups chicken broth
1/4 cup tomato paste
1 tablespoon adobo sauce
1 teaspoon cumin
11/2 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon lime juice
2/3 cup cream
1 cup shredded cheese.  (I had mozzerella.)
Add ingredients and whisk.  Once blended add thickener and cook until bubbly.

Thickener
1 tablespoon of corn starch
1/4 cup water.
Mix water and corn starch until blended then add to sauce.

Plating instructions: noodles, sauce, grilled chicken, drizzle with sauce and the cilantro.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Quick and delicious dinner

Last night we had a dairy and sprouting demo in West Valley so I needed a quick dinner. I hadn't gone grocery shopping for a while and all I had was
  • Left over grilled steak
  • 1/2 a bunch of cilantro
  • 2 onions
  • 2 roma tomatoes
  • 4 potatoes.
What to fix for dinner? 
I microwaved the potatoes; then cubed them and browned them in a skillet with a little butter.  Next, I cut the steak into small pieces, sliced the onions and tomatoes into strips, and chopped the cilantro.  After the potatoes were browned I removed the potatoes from the skillet.  I added a tablespoon or so of oil and a 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic to the skillet.  I cooked the onions 1/2 way then added the  meat.  After a few minutes the meat was reheated.  At this point I added 3-4 tablespoons of white vinegar, about 1 teaspoon of soy sauce, dash or two of cayenne pepper, salt and course black pepper to taste.  I then added the fresh tomatoes and cilantro and served the meat mixture over the browned potatoes.  Hope you enjoy this quick and easy as much as we did!

Compliments of Rach. Thanks for the laugh!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Dairy and Sprouting Demo. It's free and open to the public!


Join us tonight at 7:00 p.m. at the Hunter Library and learn how to make...
  • 9 pints of yogurt for $2.69
  • Soft cheese that is better than cream cheese and only costs 30 cents a cup.
  • How to store fresh eggs for up to 8 months.
  • How to build your own sprouter
  • How to sprout beans, lentils and legumes
  • How to sprout seeds
Hope to see you there!


HUNTER LIBRARY 
801-944-7550

4740 West 4100 South

West Valley City, Utah 84120 


Monday, March 5, 2012

Hubby had a sweet tooth on Sunday!

My house has been bakery alley lately.  It was Rachel's birthday so I made her favorite chocolate cake with deep dark chocolate frosting.  It was delicious and moist.  The next day Adam needed to bring cookies to work and requested chocolate chocolate chip cookies with deep dark chocolate frosting.  Trent isn't very fond of chocolate and with all of the chocolate coming out of the kitchen I think his taste buds were feeling a little left out so he requested his favorite cookie, oatmeal raisin.


Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
Cream
1 cup vegetable shortening
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
Add
2 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
Stir in
1 1/2 cup flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
Stir in
3 cups oats
1 cup raisins

* Sometimes I omit the raisins and add butterscotch chips and coconut.

Drop on to parchment paper in rounded tablespoons.  Pat flat the mound of dough with back of spoon. Bake at 350 degrees for 12 - 14 minutes.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Kimpton Discount!

Many of you know that my favorite hotel to stay at is a Kimpton.  Kimpton is having a special on stays in NYC and sunny Florida  Book before March 7th and use the promo code: NYCFLA to receive 25% off!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Provo Daily Herald article

Most people know the sensation of waking up to a long to-do list and wondering when, exactly, everything can possibly get to-done before bedtime. At one point or another, almost everyone has probably wished that there were even just two or three more hours in the day. Since the number of hours in the day isn't likely to change, is there something people can to do to get more out of the 24 hours that we have already?
The Daily Herald talked to author Michelle Snow, who recently published "The Queen of Common Cents: 1,001 Ways to Save Time and Money" through Springville-based Cedar Fort, to find out what she recommends to people who need more time.
1 Life is like a jar of rocks: There's more time in the day than you might think. Snow said that she once saw a religion instructor give a memorable object lesson. "Our teacher filled a large glass jar with rocks and asked if we thought he could put more rocks in the jar," she said. "We said no." The teacher then filled in around the rocks with pebbles and asked the same question. Again, the students said no. So he filled up the remaining space in the jar by pouring in sand.
The point, Snow said, is to pick what's most important -- your rocks -- and make sure that you have time for those things. Then fill in around them with less critical, but still important activities. In a word, prioritize.
2 What's the return? We all spend time in different ways, but we don't always think about whether we're spending it well. Snow said that one way of identifying areas where your time could be better spent is to ask what the time that you devote to certain activities is getting you in return.
A friend recently invited Snow to join a cyber-gardening game. Snow responded that she was preparing seeds for her actual garden and asked whether the friend would like some of them. "Her response was that she didn't have time for a 'real' garden," Snow said. "I spend about two hours a week on my garden and fruit trees. As I read her response, I couldn't help but wonder if she spent two hours a week on her cyber activities, and how nutritious and tasty her cyber harvest was in comparison to my 'real' harvest.
"In other words, cyber activities are good, but perhaps we should be asking ourselves, 'Is there something better and more sustaining that I could be doing with my time and energy?' "
3 Plan first, then pillow: Thinking about everything to be done the next day can make it hard to sleep at night. Snow said that she used to have trouble getting good rest for that very reason. "One day I decided that I would write down my to-do list before I went to bed," she said. "This simple activity helps relax my mind and enables me to fall asleep earlier in the evening."
4 Due to circumstances beyond your control: Sometimes there's not an easy way to minimize time spent on the various needs in your life. It's important to recognize, Snow said, that you won't always have time to get everything done that you'd like to do, exactly when you want to do it. During a period when Snow was a single mother, she said, her grandmother told her to remember to savor the moment.
"She told me that my life was a once-in-a-lifetime journey, not a checklist or assembly line," Snow said. "She hugged me and tenderly added, 'A clean house is good, providing for your family is better, but spending time with your children is best.' "
5 Two at once: Everyone knows about multitasking, but what about mixing tasks and pleasure? Snow said that one way she gets in her "sand time" (think of the glass jar) is to listen to books on tape while she's driving. Doing something fun while also accomplishing something important -- folding laundry while watching a DVD, for example -- can also make jobs go by faster.


Read more: http://www.heraldextra.com/lifestyles/tips-to-help-to-maximize-the-use-of-your-time/article_afa57ee9-55fa-5acd-b907-40aa3c463f55.html#ixzz1nmtthO00

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I bought to much custom color paint and can't return it for a refund.

I have a full gallon of gray Behr Premium Plus self priming paint that I would love to give to someone.  If interested and you live in or near Davis County let me know and it is yours.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Bag Meal Demo Today!


Come say hello at our Bag Meal and Sprouting Demo at the Sandy Utah Library from 7 - 8:00.
Hope to see you there!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

White chocolate fudge for Valentine's Day.

This entry is a copy of my daughter's 2011 posting on www.bagmealtestkitchen.blogspot.com



White Fudge

Apparently, I'm still stuck in Christmas mode. If you had this fudge, you would be too.

Normally, I'm not a white chocolate kind of girl, but this? This is A-MAZ-ING. In fact, last year I sacrificed my arm to a boiling pot of this fudge and it was worth it. I wear that scar like a sugary badge of honor. It is also a tradition. When December rolls around I actually have friends that ask, "Has The Bag Lady made any white fudge yet?" It's better than chocolate fudge. It's a heavenly dance of silky ecstasy across your tongue. It's smooth. It's creamy. It's delicious. It's entirely impossible to adequately describe. It must be EXPERIENCED! So, give it try... or track me down in December when there is a whole container at my desk.

White fudge
3 feet wax paper
Resealable bag: 1 cup sugar
3/4 cup canned butter
2/3 cup evap milk
1 -12 oz pkg white chocolate chips
1 7 oz jar marshmallow creme

Directions:
Unfold wax paper and place on counter. In a large pot over medium heat bring to boil sugar, butter, and milk. Boil for 4 minutes or until candy thermometer reaches 230 degrees. Remove from heat and stir in marshmallow creme and white chocolate chips. Working quickly drop fudge by 1 teaspoon dollops onto waxed paper*. When cool remove and store in air tight container.

*Do NOT get lazy and pour it in a pan. Dolloping is a key aspect of this recipe. Not only does the fudge taste better in disc form, many of my Christmas memories revolve around The Bag Lady and I madly dolloping before the pot of fudge cooled. My dollops were always fat and ugly. Hers were always dainty with a delectably delicious curl. I always ate hers first. :)

Monday, February 6, 2012

Refinishing hardwood floors

I am a frugal gal and when the bid to refinish my hardwood floors came in at almost $3000.00 I started wondering if I could do it myself.  Well, I just put my final coat of polyurethane on the floor and it looks great!  I never would have thought refinishing a floor would be so easy.  I must warn any one thinking of refinishing a floor that it is time consuming...sanding, cleaning the floor to remove anything and everything, and then 3 coats of water based polyurethane.  The total time I spent on 270 square foot area was one day prep, one day application (3 hours between each coat) and one day to dry.

Total cost in materials: $53.00
Total Time: 3 days

Isn't it shiny and beautiful?

I feel so accomplished and handy!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A Typical Monday at the Snow's House


Last night our family did what we do almost every Monday.  We work on Adam's Duty to God book or Preach My Gospel, play a game or watch a movie, and then have a treat.  Simple and relaxing.  The lesson portion went smoothly and in no time at all it was time to play a game or go to a movie.  Trent and Adam didn't want to play games since we had guests over on Sunday and played games until bedtime.  And, nothing was at the dollar movies worth seeing, so that meant it was time for the treat.

My husband Trent, who by the way has a sweet tooth the size of the Grand Canyon, asked, "Honey, what's for dessert?" I stared at him blankly because I had not had time to make a dessert. My mind was racing trying to recover from committing the unpardonable sin of not having a FHE treat.  In a flash, I remembered seeing my waffle cone maker in the basement (I have been reorganizing the basement, thank heavens for that!).  I smiled and said, "Oh, we are going to have ice cream in homemade waffle cones.  And we're all going to help out."  Quickly, I ran down stairs and grabbed the waffle cone maker.  I whipped up the batter as Trent and Adam gathered around the breakfast bar.  Whew!  Now that was a save if I say so myself!

Here's the recipe that came with my waffle cone maker
1 egg
1 egg white
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 tsp salt
2/3 cup flour
2 T. melted butter

Whisk, bake and roll.  Yum!

Hints: 
Waffle cones can be made into waffle bowls just by placing the cooked waffle on an inverted bowl to cool.
Waffle cone makers can be purchased just after Christmas for about $19.99 at Shopko, Target, Walmart etc.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Brown Rice


You aren't going to believe this one!  Two years ago I was given probably 50 pounds of brown rice that had expired.  The rice was fine; it didn't smell or taste rancid.  I decided to run an experiment to see how long it would last in my cool basement.  I canned it in number 10 cans and placed an oxygen absorber packet in each can and forgot about my little experiment.

Well, last night while I was organizing my basement, I found the brown rice and decided to open it.  I prepared myself for the horrible odor that accompanies rancid food.  Much to my surprise the rice smelled perfectly normal.  I brought it upstairs and ate some and it tasted nutty and delicious.  I couldn't believe my nose or tastebuds! 

If you have ever attended one of my lectures or demos you know I always stress that for extended shelf life you must control the three enemies of food storage, light, oxygen, and heat.

I never would have believed it if I hadn't personally experienced it...So when you read that brown rice expires in 6 months. Think again.  Brown rice not going rancid after 2  years; now that's amazing!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

March 13th the "Childrens' Bucket List" will be in all major book stores.


This is the book that I have been waiting for Cedar Fort to publish.  I got the idea to write this book when I discovered that a lot of mothers never did these cool things as a child or with their children.  Personally, I can't wait for grandchildren so I can make memories with them.

Pre-order your copy today on Amazon.com

Friday, January 27, 2012

Bath and Body Works

Anitbacterial soaps are on sale!  4 for $15 or 6 for $20.  Exotic Essentials buy 3 get 2 free!  Also get $1.00 shipping using the promo code TROPICAL25

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Come to the Authorpalooza!



I am going to be at the Barnes and Noble Authorpalooza in Sandy, Utah on Feb. 4th from 1 - 4
Hope to see you there!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

WOOLRICH SALE

Woolrich is offering and additional 10% off sale items.
Promo code: EXTRA10.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Where do I buy bag meal bags at the lowest price possible?

The Bag Lady

I get asked this question all the time.  Here's the best price I have found and free home delivery to boot!
http://www.staples.com/Small-Mint-Green-Frosted-Plastic-Shopping-Bags/product_721810?cmArea=SEARCH

Helpful Hints:

Don't want or need 250 bags?  Divide the order with friends, family or neighbors.

Other color choices can be found on the right side of the opened page.

The Bag Lady Returns!




Sandy library- February 15th at 7 pm, the Bag Lady will be doing a demonstration on bag meals.  Trent will also be on hand to teach how to store, care for, and sprout seeds and beans, as well as, how to build his amazing sprouter.  This demonstration is free and open to the public.
Hope to see you there!


Friday, January 6, 2012

20 helpful tips for winter trips to Central Florida

1. Have plenty of change, some toll roads only accept exact change.

Here's what gets you if you don't pay the toll!

2. For the Harry Potter land in Universal Studios the lines were over 2 hours long.  We found the singles lines and all of us were on the rides either right away or in 5-10 minutes.
3.  The singles lines at Universal Studios are sometimes in odd locations, inside gift shops, instead of near the main entrance to the ride.
4.  Ask employees for directions to the singles line.
5.  Ask employees for wait times in the singles line.
6. Want to ride the ride again?  Look for the short cut stairs/path that cuts straight to the entrance.  Don't see it? Ask the employee at the exit.
Yeah, for singles lines!
7.  Want a butter beer or pumpkin juice but don't want to wait in the long, long, long lines in the courtyard?  Go to the bar instead.  We only had 4 people in front of us! Surprisingly, my favorite was the pumpkin juice.

Yum,  butter beer!

8. Meal plans are great for teenage boys and those with big appetites. Unfortunately, Rachel and I would have saved money paying individually for our meals.
9. If you go to the parks before 9:30 am ride lines are very short, 5-10 minute waits.  Around 10 am ride lines average 1.5 hours.  After 6 pm ride lines averaged 20-30 minutes.
10.  Epcot was boring for the children.

Hollywood Studios in Disney World was a blast!

11.  Want to save money on food while at Disney?  Instead of eating in restaurants get the same food for less at the food stands near the restaurant.
12. All amusement parks offer free cups of water.  They all also allowed us to bring in fanny packs with snacks and bottled water.
13.  Speaking of fanny packs, many rides now require riders to use lockers for their personal items.  Here's the exception, fanny packs.  Not once were we required to use a locker before riding the rides.
14.  Our favorite place to visit was Discovery Cove.  It was worth the price.  Save this destination for your last day because it was the highlight of our trip.
15.  If you go to Discovery Cove remember that you may keep your snorkel.  NOT the mask!  Just the snorkel.
16. Need a prescription mask for snorkeling? No problem, Discover Cove offers prescription masks free of charge at the service desk.
17. Discovery Cove included 14 days of free visits to Sea World...parking excluded.  Be sure to ask for details as this may be a limited offer.
18.  Make sure to plan ahead to get a good seat for Sea World shows.  We planned to be seated 30 minutes before the show and typically by the time we arrived the arena was 1/3 full.

19. Pick up your food before you go to the arena.  It keeps you full, hydrated, and gives you something to do while waiting for the show to begin.
20. Florida rental cars require a gas receipt within 5 miles of the airport.  The price of gas near the airport was $5.60 a gallon.  In town it was $3.18 a gallon.  On the brighter side we only had to buy 2 gallons.




Thursday, January 5, 2012

JUST CHANGE YOUR PANTS!

Breakfast this morning started out like any other; that is until Trent spilled jalapeño jelly on his pants.
“I can’t believe it! No matter what I do I spill food on myself.”

“Honey, don’t worry. Just go change your pants.”

“I can’t JUST change my pants! I’ll be late for work. “

“Yes Trent, just go change your pants.”

“Michelle, I can’t just change my pants because if I change my pants I’ll have to change my shirt.”

“Just change your pants Trent.”

“I can’t just change my pants because if I change my pants I’ll have to change my shirt. And if I change my shirt I’ll have to change my tie. And if I change my tie I’ll have to change my belt. And if I change my belt I’ll have to change my shoes.”

“TRENT, just go change your pants.”

Trent walks away from the breakfast bar.

“Trent, where are you going?”

”I need to change my pants.”

Sweet Jalapeño Jelly Recipe
About 1 pound jalapeño peppers
2 cups water
1 cup apple cider vinegar
4 cups sugar
1 package pectin
Directions:
Cut peppers in half. Cut off stems and remove seeds. Place finely chopped peppers in a large pot. Add water and apple cider vinegar. Cover and bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 15 more minutes; strain. Add pectin to 3 cups of juice, stirring constantly. Bring mixture to full boil on high heat. Stir in sugar. Return to full boil and boil for 2 minutes. Remove from heat. Ladle into prepared jars with 1/8 inch.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

For peace of mind, women older than 50 should be banned from driving

              

Today I had 15 minutes to drive to my next appointment and it is a good 25 minutes away. What did I do? I ran to the bathroom mirror glanced at my make-up and hair, turned sideways, patted my tummy and exclaim, “Not bad! You still have it!” After giving my appearance a quick check I grabbed my purse and keys and bolt for the door.

Once inside my car I buckled my seat belt, turned the key and began backing out of the garage. Just when I reached the driveway the morning sun in all of its radiance glinted off of the rearview mirror and on to my face. To my horror, I saw a GRANNY HAIR! Yes, I said it…A granny hair.

For you that are not familiar with the term granny hair, a granny hair is a coarse black or gray hair located on the chin or upper lip that will typically appears sometime in a woman’s fifth decade of life. Granny hairs send chills of terror up and down the spines of those unfortunate souls who experience them, resulting in frantic searches for tweezers and plucking action that would rival a ninja warrior.

As I am about to grab the granny hair with very determined fingers, I happen to glance at my jaw line. Is that the beginning of a jowl? I quickly adjust the angle of my rearview mirror. Much to my chagrin, the jowls are still there. Instantaneously, I place my pointer fingers at the back of my jaw near the base of my ears and give a gentle upward tug. The jowls disappear. I AM GETTING OLD AGE JOWLS!

I don’t know why I just didn’t leave well enough alone and drive to my appointment, but I didn’t. Instead I began to examine my face with an eagle eye. What is going on with my neck? It looks like crepe paper. Suddenly, I realize what skin care companies are referring to when they claim their product will reduce the appearance of crepey skin. AUGH! I have crepey skin on top of granny hairs!

I must be a glutton for punishment because I began to examine my cheeks, eyes and forehead. Age spots? Oh please, not age spots! Baggy eye lids! I’m cursed. And lastly, I move on to brow furrows or more accurately, brow trenches! How come I never saw these in the bathroom mirror? Was I not just 10 minutes ago standing in front of the bathroom mirror and smugly saying to myself how good looking I was? Why does the rearview mirror hate me!

Being a woman of action, I quickly began formulating ways to combat my newly discovered aging. I could use layers of concealer to putty up my brow trenches and cover my age spots. And if that didn’t work I could separate my brow trenches with my thumb and pointer finger pretending to always be deep in thought. Yes, that’s what I could do; be like Rodin’s Thinker Statue only instead of fist to chin have fingers to forehead.

Having solved my brow situation I moved on to my jowls. Hum, what to do. How about an industrial strength banana hair clip? It could pull my hair back and my jowls at the same time. No. I couldn’t do that, what if one of the springs broke? It might disfigure me further.

What about duct tape? It fixes everything for my husband. I could duct tape my jowls up and grow my hair out to cover the tape. And while on the subject of tape, why not use double sided tape to lift my bagging eye lids.

Even after developing my personal anti-aging strategies one question remains, What is it about rearview mirrors???!!!

Perhaps the simplest solution is for women over 50 to swear off driving for peace of mind!

Below are some inexpensive home beauty treatments that can be found in your pantry

Tightening mask for large pores:

Egg Whites- Beat the white of an egg lightly. Apply the beaten egg white to skin. Allow to dry. Remove with warm wash cloth. Follow with cold water, toner and skin cream of choice.

Skin moisturizers:

Coconut oil- Coconut oil makes a great facial, hand or general skin cream.

Avocado- Smash an avocado and pat on face. Allow to dry about 1/2 an hour. Remove with a warm wash cloth. Follow with cold water, toner and skin cream of choice.

Facial scrub:

Rolled Oatmeal Scrub- Wet face with warm water. Moisten a small amount of rolled oatmeal in the palm of your hand. Using circular motions gently rub your skin with the oatmeal. Remember to never apply facial scrub to the delicate skin surrounding your eyes.

Hair rinse:

Vinegar- Mix 1/2 cup of vinegar in a pitcher of water. After shampooing rinse hair and scalp with vinegar solution to remove any residue.